headache

I feel my mind has gone blank. Not because I've nothing to think about. There's this thing that has been troubling me so much that I really want to know the freaking solution. I'm not good at expressing but I briefly told two dudes about it, just to prevent myself from going nuts.

i dont want to regret that i've done NOTHING SIGNIFICANT at the end of this life of mine.

definition of 'significant'? that's the whole trouble. i'm still searching for the answer.

I feel even more troubled because I've wasted, and is still wasting time in doing nothing much; besides being responsible to myself as a student. as for family, it's a disgrace to admit that i fail, but i'm trying hard to improve.

i once suspected that i probably think too much. then i thought again, maybe this arise because my holiday is too long and therefore i've nothing to be busy at and hence...

or am i going mad...

but all these is just an excuse to push away the trouble. an excuse to give my brain a break. an excuse to stop searching for the answer.

...headache.